Since writing my post yesterday about how I *need* to start exercising on a schedule and how resistant I always have been to that, I took some time to reflect on why... or rather, what's the mental road block to an exercise routine? First, I searched my blog and found my
History of Exercise post, which described how my childhood and young adulthood never involved any structured exercise or sports routine. Then I looked through my blog history in which I have had long stretches of *doing* a routine... usually biking on my stationary recumbent bike, walking for the sole purpose of walking, and lifting weights in my home. I noticed that I have *always* been very resistant to getting any of these routines started, but once I got going for awhile I loved how I felt afterwards... and I loved the results! So why, just why, do I keep saying "I know I need to exercise" but then not actually doing it?
Well, I hate it. It's stupid. That's what comes to my mind when I think about going to a gym or picking up the dusty weights in my bedroom or getting on that bike in the basement. It's how I feel when I think about going to an aerobics class or a yoga class or any of those things. How dumb, what a waste of time. I don't even enjoy it, so there's not even THAT reason to do it. Even though I *know* that building strength, balance, and endurance are not at all dumb, I get this internal eye-roll feeling when people start talking about that kind of stuff. Why?
I think to get past this barrier (which has been an obstacle for me for as long as I can remember), I need to sort it out and directly confront the hidden reasons and thoughts for my resistance. So here goes.
I remember when I was younger... maybe an older teen... there was a book I had to read for some class I was taking. I think it was in college, and it had something to do with pioneer history. There was a lecture by a professor that went with a certain part of this book in which they discussed how hard every single task was back then. The pioneers had no time-saving devices. They were up at dawn and everyone... men, women, and even small children... had essential tasks to complete each day. Every bit of their day revolved around getting their basic needs met. If they wanted a pot of stew for dinner, they didn't just run to the store, chop and dump everything into a crock pot and then sit down to eat 6 hours later. They had to hunt. Walk sometimes many miles to find animals to kill, roots to dig, plants to harvest. They had to gather all of this, take it to a stream to wash it all, skin and clean the animal, and carry water from the stream to their home. They had to gather wood, build a fire, tend a pot over the flame, and then finally they could eat... but then there was the cleanup, too. They had to make and mend their clothing, wash it all by hand and hang it to dry. Everything they needed to do in a day took their hard work and energy and pretty much no one was sitting around getting fat.
The book compared this life to today, with our work-saving, time-saving devices like washing machines, cars. vacuum cleaners, electricity, indoor plumbing, and the like. The professor talked about the laziness of modern people. He talked about how those pioneers drove themselves to exhaustion just trying to do the work needed to survive, while modern humans have so much extra time and energy that they actually go to a gym to "burn off" their excess energy. People actually waste their time and energy on "workouts" that are not actually work. The professor spoke with disdain and mockery about people "running to nowhere" on treadmills and standing around lifting heavy metal weights over their heads for "no reason"... so stupid! How this would puzzle the pioneers, whose muscles were strong because they carried their children, hauled buckets of water, scrubbed laundry and belongings, and worked their muscles for *real purpose*... not silly, manufactured "workouts" but actual WORK.
I guess that attitude has stuck with me all these years, because that is exactly what I think of and how I feel when people talk about lifting weights or jumping around in an exercise class. They are using up their valuable time and energy... for NOTHING! Just for the sake of "burning calories" or "getting fit." I adopted that disdain and sense of "how stupid is it" from that professor so long ago, and it's always been the true driving reason I don't "exercise", but instead, try to increase my "lifestyle activity" (or actual work).
I think to myself sometimes, I am so tired by the end of a day. Sometimes I don't even have the energy left to mop the floor, or walk the dogs, or work on the yard like I should. How much sense does it make to add in useless, pointless activity that accomplishes none of the these tasks and is only burning energy for the sake of burning it? Isn't is more sensible and less stupid to take 20 minutes each day to go out and work on the yard, fix something around the house, walk a dog, paint a room, refinish the deck, or mop the floor than it is to take that same 20 minutes and energy (which is in short supply) and sit on a dumb bike in the basement, biking to nowhere for no reason? My energy is limited, so I tell myself I need to use it to do actual work that needs to be done, and not a silly "workout."
So there is it. That's the mental resistance to the "exercise routine." It's always been that way, I've always felt that way, and in order to get to a place of biking 30 minutes a day and lifting 3 times a week like I used to do, I had to shove those thoughts and feelings aside and just do it anyway. But maybe, instead of fighting it and just "doing it anyway," this time can be different. Maybe this time I can set a goal of 15, 20, 30 or more minutes each day of raising my heart rate and strengthening my muscles... whether that be "exercise" or "actual work." If *that* is my goal, then it obliterates my reasons for avoiding meaningless biking. Because if I *do* have actual work to do... I can do it. Use that as my 20 or 30 minutes, as long as it is heart-rate-elevating and muscle-strengthening. And if I don't have an actual hard-work task to do on a certain day, or didn't have time to get it done because I was sitting doing paperwork or driving to appointments, I can still get my time in my hopping on that bike and lifting some weights... because now it fills a need. Now it is a way to get my physical "work" requirement in without taking time and energy away from an actual purposeful task.
That's what I'm going to do this week. I have a checklist and will do at least 20 minutes of strenuous "work" each day, from one category or the other. I think this will satisfy the need for activity, the limited nature of my energy, and the mental roadblock all at once.
Scale says 205 pounds, which is one pound gone this week,
via Escape from Obesity http://ift.tt/1DEL8xy