After a busy weekend, the last couple of day have seemed dull--but it's nice, because I've gotten quite a bit done. I've been feeling so much better since I started my new medication, and I'm thrilled that it's actually working. I'd gotten used to feeling depressed for so long (this bout lasted about 10 months) that I was getting desperate. I even told my friend Andrea, just before seeing the psychiatrist, that I was putting ALL my eggs into that one basket, and I just hoped that it would help.
Yesterday, I was SO energetic. My depression had made me feel lethargic and I had to force myself to do things; but now that I'm feeling better, I don't have to talk myself into things anymore. My house is super clean, I'm caught up on email (well, almost--but much more than usual), I've been spending time with the kids, and I just feel very
content. I'm not euphoric or anything, but I am loving that I don't feel depressed. I had so many really dark days that I thought would never end, and when I look back on those, I have a hard time believing it.
I was happy I got to spend some time with Jerry yesterday. He picked me up from the airport on Sunday night, and then we went to bed (I only saw him for about two hours, but I was unpacking, visiting with the kids, etc). He left for work before I woke up on Monday, and from work, he went to a concert with a friend on Monday night. I was sleeping when he got home, and then he woke up for work early on Tuesday, while I was sleeping. So last night was the first night I really got to talk to him since Thursday afternoon.
While I was in Boston, he did the coolest thing for me--he got a new battery put in my watch! Maybe that doesn't sound like a big deal, but Jerry bought me this watch when we were dating, probably in 2001-ish? I loved it, and I wore it until the battery went dead. Then I put it in my jewelry box, intending to take it in for a new battery. And it sat there ever since!
I was cleaning out drawers in my bedroom, and I went through my jewelry box as well. When I saw the watch, I told Jerry that I really HAVE to get a new battery, because I'd love to wear the watch again. So, while I was in Boston, Jerry surprised me by taking my watch in and now it works again! I know a lot of people don't wear watches anymore, because it's easy enough to check the time on our phones; but I've always liked telling time manually--with the "big hand" and "little hand"--instead of digitally. Anyway, I'm happy to be wearing it again! (It's definitely bigger on my wrist than it used to be--but that's just fine with me).
This morning was my Wednesday Weigh-in, and I was pretty psyched when I got on the scale to see that not only had I not gained weight in Boston, I actually had a good two pound loss this week! It was funny, though. I usually weigh in while wearing my underwear and sometimes my socks, but when I stepped on the scale, it said 140.0. SO close to the 130's--so I took off my undies and socks, and that was enough to bring it down to 139.8.
THEN, when I picked up my phone to take a picture, it went up to 140.2. Obviously, it doesn't actually make any difference whether it reads 140.2 or 139.8 (my body weighs the same either way), but because I was so close to the 130's, I wanted the official weigh in to read that. After a few tries, I managed to grab my phone and snap a picture before the scale registered the weight of the phone. HAHAHA.
I haven't seen the 130's in a long time. I think the biggest change over the last couple of months has been that I haven't had much alcohol at all. It wasn't just calories in alcohol that would be a problem (a glass of wine only has 100-125 calories); but a glass of wine usually makes me want to eat something, and then sometimes I would binge or just eat when I wasn't actually hungry. Alcohol gives me that, "Ah, screw it! I'll worry about it later!" mentality.
I haven't quit drinking alcohol entirely, but I can count on one hand the number of occasions that I've had any drinks--even including this weekend in Boston. I had one and a half beers on Friday; one drink with dinner at Kowloon, and two at the comedy show; and none on Sunday. Usually, on vacation, I like to indulge in several drinks! The benefit to drinking only on rare occasions now is that I've become a lightweight, and one or two drinks is plenty.
Anyway, I haven't binged in over two months, so I think it has made a pretty big difference. I still haven't been counting calories, but I've been eating four times a day and keeping my portions reasonable. I'm pretty happy with how things are going right now! :)
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